


Hinata Was Too Innocent

by RandomFujoshi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hinata The Innocent, Kageyama Tobio is a Dork, M/M, Mentions of Masturbation, Nervous team, One Shot, Oops, Porn is mentioned, Sugamomm talks to the smol sun about masturbation, What is masturbation?, Why Did I Write This?, not really smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 20:09:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomFujoshi/pseuds/RandomFujoshi
Summary: Hinata's innocence Is just amazing.*I DON'T OWN HAIKYUU*





	Hinata Was Too Innocent

**Author's Note:**

> If you watched Boku No Pico, you know what ochinchin is  
> For those who din't watch that- ochinchin is a childs word for penis

Hinata was too innocent. Scary innocent. This innocence is what was causing the commotion. 

Hinata came to practice with a piece of tissue in one of his nostrils. Daichi asked him what is was for 

“Hey Hinata! What happened to your nose?” 

“OH! I got a nosebleed and class and had to go to the nurse, in fact I need to ask you something” 

Before Hinata could ask the question, Kageyama came zooming around the corner and into the gym. “DO NOT ASK THAT QUESTION HINATA, AND DAICHI DO NOT ANSWER”, He said before collapsing from exhaustion. The team stopped what they were doing and stood around Hinata, so they could hear the question that was making Kageyama panic. 

“I just wanted to ask what masturbating is Bakayama!”, Hinata said with a pouty face. Everyone’s twitched, and their faces dropped. “You’re in high school and you don’t know what _that_ is”, Tsukishima said, pushing his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose.  

“Well I went to the nurse with Kageyama, and the nurse man said I was probably backed up. I asked him what did he mean and he said I need to masturbate to release myself but I don’t know what it is or how. When I asked Kageyama to show me he just fainted so I came straight here to ask you guys!” 

By the time Hinata finished speaking, the team was already freaking out. “TEAM MEETING, EXCEPT FOR HINATA”, Daichi yelled as he huddled everyone into a group. 

“What the hell! How can he be that ignorant!” 

“He lives with two girls Tanaka! He never had a dad or friends who think like that!” 

“I mean I get your point Suga-san, but my Kohai is going to find out by either us or the internet when he gets home”, Nishinoya added. Perfect timing, because at that moment Hinata said “Never mind! I’ll look it up when I get home”. Everyone froze in place.  

Tsukishima started to sweat, as he thought of a way to keep Hinata away from the dark side of the internet. “Hinata, if you look it up online Daichi will kick you out of the club”, Tsukishima said before cupping his mouth. “FINE! I’ll ask my mom or Coach Ukai!”, Hinata said with a pouty expression.  

“NO!”, They all screamed.  

Kageyama got up and picked Hinata up by the waist. He put Hinata on a bench and stared at him. “Hinata, I never want to hear such filthy words come out of your mouth again!”, Kageyama said. On the outside Kageyama looked stern, but on the inside he was dying.  

“I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MASTURBATE! IS IT THAT BAD!? I MEAN IT CAN’T BE IF A NURSE SAID TO DO IT”, Hinata screamed, causing everyone to go stiff. They knew Hinata would know by morning, whether they liked it or not. 

Sugawara stepped up, taking the lead role in operation ‘Give Hinata Enough Information to Cure His Curiosity but Keep His Innocence’, aka Operation G.H.E.I.C.H.C.K.H.I., which is going to be a hassle. 

“Hinata, do you ever feel weird when looking at girls!?”, Sugawara said with confidence 

“No, should I?” 

 _Has he even hit puberty,_ they all thought. 

“Well do you ever feel weird looking at anyone undress” 

“Well, yeah sometimes like in the locker room and that one time at training camp when everyone was taking a shower in that big bathroom” 

 _Well, he doesn’t realize it yet, but he just admitted to being gay_ , they all thought. 

“Well what does It feel like” 

“I don’t know! I mean my face and other places get really hot” 

 _This is going to be hard_ , Sugawara thought. He shooed the team away, as he took Hinata to the locker room to explain further. 

“So what other places get hot Hinata” Sugawara said nervously. _I’ll make him answer everything so I don’t have to say it myself,_ he thought to himself. 

“My ochinchin”, Hinata said nervously. Hinata didn’t understand why he felt weird telling Suga this 

“What do you think about when your, um… _ochinchin_ feels hot” 

“Nothing. I just can’t stop staring at the person’s body and I want to touch it” 

“What do you mean by ‘ _touch it’_ ” 

“I want to touch my ochinchin, but I never do” Hinata said embarrassed. He felt weird and didn’t want to talk about his ochinchin anymore. 

“That’s what masturbating is Hinata” 

Hinata froze, from confusion and awkwardness. 

“Touching my ochinchin means masturbating!” 

“Y-yes Hinata” 

“Nevermind, I don’t want to know how anymore” 

“Good! Then that’s all Hinata!” 

“WAIT! What if you’re lying to me so I don’t go trying to find what masturbating really is!” 

“I’m not Hinata! I’d never lie to you” 

“I believe you I guess. Oh! Suga-san do you masturbate!?” 

“Eh, um, well, you see. I can’t talk about that without involving sex” 

“What’s sex Suga-san!?”  

“Er, well. THAT’S ALL FOLKS”, Sugawara said running out of the locker room. The team looked confused and a little worried. 

“BUT SUGA-SAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT SEX IS! AND YOU DIDN’T REALLY SAY MUCH ABOUT _HOW_ TO TOUCH MY OCHINCHIN”, Hinata screamed while he chased Sugawara around the gym. 

The team cringed when they heard what Hinata had just said. They glared at Sugawara because they knew he probably said to much. _I’m a terrible mother_ , Sugawara thought to himself. 

After they got Hinata to stop chasing Sugawara, they started playing 3v3 games against each other. Hinata walked home quietly with Kageyama. Neither said anything. 

That night, Hinata went straight to his computer and began researching how to masturbate. None of the recommended videos made his ochinchin get hard like the people said. He saw one video of a guy that looked like Kageyama masturbating. Watching the guy made Hinata’s ochinchin get super hard.  

After seeing the video two times, Hinata began following the guy. 

“First, get lotion”, Hinata said pulling his pants down and rubbing lotion on his hands. 

“Second, rub yourself up and down”, Hinata said running his hands down his length. 

Hinata began imagining Kageyama, for reasons he didn’t know. Hinata began moaning loudly. He didn’t know he was supposed to hide his moans, since no one told him too. Hinata’s mom walked in the house, and heard her son moaning. “Either I’m dreaming, or someone’s ruined my Carrot Top’s mind”.  

Hinata continued jerking off, as the video on his computer played. “ _aahh_ , this feels r-really good”, Hinata managed to get out between moans. Hinata didn’t hear his mom walk in. 

Hinata-san opened her son’s door, and Shouyou nearly fell out of his chair. “Mom I didn’t hear you come in”, Shouyou said as he closed his computer. 

“I didn’t expect you to be doing, _that_ ”, Hinata-san said. Shouyou pulled up his pants and smiled. “Oh, the nurse said it would help me release myself!”.  

That night was awkward for Hinata-san. _What does a mother do when she catches her son jerking off!?,_ She thought to herself. 

That morning, Hinata-san decided to go to morning practice with Hinata to see what she could find out. 

“Hey guys!”, Hinata said running into the gym, accompanied by his mother. Everyone smiled back, until they realized Hinata’s mom was there. “Carrot Top, can you get my phone out of the car”, Hinata-san asked patting Hinata’s head. “Okay!”, Hinata said running out of the gym. 

“Which one of you ruined my pure child!”, Hinata-san said glaring at the team. _She’s a lot scarier than Hinata,_ they all thought. They all twitched nervously, while making gestures towards Sugawara. “It was me mam, but he asked the question and threatened to use the internet if I didn’t explain to him what masturbating was”, Sugawara said bowing. 

“I limit him to an hour of TV and little internet access for 14 years. He didn’t even know there were shows other than Veggie-tales until two years ago. He was pure and innocent. Now his innocence is causing problems”, Hinata-san said.  


End file.
